Love Letter for Upcoming Mother’s Day – Lessons learnt from my 4 children and the journey thus far.

As most of you know we have 4 beautiful healthy children. Archie is 18, Trix is 16 and Monty and Maurie are 13. All one year older this year!

I cannot quite believe that they are this age. Time just slips by and sometimes I want to freeze it!

I wanted to write this Love Letter to my children. I wanted to thank them for all they have taught me. Not a day goes by without a lesson learnt and for this I am grateful, as hard as that is sometimes! 

When Archibald William (Archie) was born, a beautiful healthy bald blue-eyed boy! Suddenly, we were thrown into this crazy world where we were not just foot-loose and fancy free, we had to start being a bit responsible as we had another life to look after!!! This scared the hell out of me and also gave me a new purpose! It was hard and easy at the same time. The sleep deprivation that all new mums and dads talk about is real and disabling at times. The fuzzy head, a body that I once knew but now is a little foreign to me….it tells a new story. I am number 8 of 10 children, I have always been surrounded by babies and children, but this was totally new for me and I needed to make it the best way I knew how. I am a bit of a perfectionist in an ‘un – perfectionist way! I like my time and my structure, so when you throw motherhood into this, there is a lot of re-learning! I would not have had it any other way though and I was up for the challenge because now we were now a family of 3!

Lessons Learnt from Arch thus far – Arch has taught me many things. He has taught me how to be resilient, to have faith, to let go and not worry so much. Thank you, Arch. xx,

Then Beatrix Ruby (Trix) came along, a beautiful healthy, brown eyed, dark haired girl! Total opposite to Arch! Trix’s birth was a calm, gentle but a quick birth. With special thanks to my dear mentor and friend Danette Watson. She taught me the way to owning my body, owning the pregnancy and birth journey, and helped me with the whole fear factor that can come with the unknown of the birth journey. I am ever grateful to Danette for this.

Number two baba and some people said how clever we were as we had produced The Pigeon Pair!!!!! I had never heard this expression before, it had nothing to do with us, just how it was going to be!

Trix was very dependent on me and never wanted me to leave her side. I found this both wonderful and hard at the same time. Again, challenging my need for ‘own time’ and ‘structure’! I learnt how to be that ‘human dummy’ as she would not take a real dummy and I learnt that this little bundle of Joy needed me, and she was going to teach me that I needed her too! Arch and Trix were ‘besties’, painting each other, throwing leaves in the autumn breeze, and fighting their way through the toddler stage!

Lessons learnt from Trix thus far – Trix has taught me to be open, to let a lot go, to be patient. She has taught me a lot about myself and the why and how I have done the things I have. She has created the knowing bond between a daughter and a mother and for this I am grateful. Thank you, Trix. xx

Because we ‘like totally had this parent thing down pat”, we decided to have another little bubba. Well and behold we not only had one but two bubbas! Yes, twins were on the way! 

There were tears of joy and tears of ‘the unknown’!! OMG!!

Montague Benjamin (Monty) was born first, he was a blue-eyed light brown hair beautiful, healthy boy. Then 50 minutes later Maurice Richard (Maurie) was born, a beautiful, healthy brown eyed sandy coloured haired boy! Both born in 3 and ½ hours with that 50-minute break in between! It was fast, they wanted to be in this world and they were going to teach me ‘soooooooo’ much! This period in our lives was absolutely crazy! Four children under five.

If this wasn’t going to teach us a thing or two about life then I’m not sure what will! 

It was a time where I definitely had to let go of things, I chose to choose my battles and leave the rest at the same time. I suffered with anxiety and felt both elevated and flat at the same time. This was tough for me as I am naturally a pleaser and wanted to ‘do a good job, at this motherhood thing! I felt I was not coping that well and needed to go on anxiety medication to help me through. This was one of the hardest things for me to do as I felt I ‘should’ be able to cope, most women do (I thought!!). I remember one day when I was speaking to one of my beautiful friends. I was crying, saying how hard I was finding it all and that I had to go on medication to help me cope. And I thought I needed to ‘up’ the medication to cope more. In her kind gentle voice, she told me to ‘bloody’ triple it if I needed to’. To not feel bad because I could not cope. She helped me to see that it depicted strength to show this vulnerability and to do something proactive about it. I was helping myself so I could be the best I could be for my children, my husband and myself. 

Although this time was tough in many ways it was also so incredibly rewarding. I could not believe that we had 4 children. I felt totally blest! And now we are a family of 6!! xxxxxx

Lessons learnt from Monty thus far – Monty has taught me to laugh more (he has the best giggle!), to go with it and to trust the journey. Thank you, Monty. xx

Lessons learnt from Maurie thus far – Maurie has taught me to see things in a different way. He has taught me to think outside the square and to hug more! Thank you Maurie. Xx

I am sure these lessons will continue to be learnt and appreciated and cursed as well! 

I am grateful for the opportunity to be a mother. I certainly do not know it all and I never will, but I know that I am doing the best job I know how on any given day. I know that love, support and understanding are the foundations that a mother/ child bond need to build a powerful relationship. I had a fantastic teacher, being my own beautiful mother, Lona and I feel so blest that I had this fine example to follow and build on.

All my love,

Love Steph xxoo

PS Hylesy has also been the most wonderful teacher and encouragement. I could not have done this mothering job without his love, help and support. Love you darling. xx